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Monday, June 27, 2011

she's still standing.

如 果 没 有 你 没 有 过 去我 不 会 有 伤 心,
但 是 有 如 果 还 是 要 爱 你,
如 果 没 有 你 我 在 哪 里又 有 什 么 可 惜,
反 正 一 切 来 不 及

she's just exhausted. 

Those tired eyes.

i've seen, i've been through, i've lived.

5 months
20 weeks,
140 days.
has passed.

i'm not hurting myself again.
i've got to treat myself better. 

its the end of semester, 
things comes to an end,
went through sleepless nights,
went through near breaking down hours,
went through gasping for air just to live for another few more hours before submission,
went through making my sleeping time go round the world,
went through brain blank and sat there for hours,

this is only the first semester of year 1.
6 more to go.

no matter what, you're going to finish this course with flying colors.
thats my aim. (:

Sunday, June 26, 2011

i dont wanna miss a thing

people change.

after submisision

me, shel hee, vivian, nishie, jan.

i was not here when this happened.
but, this is oh-so-joshua

so long i never see him k! miss him much.

they waited for almost 10 hours for us to go up. hahah!
end of story! 

aint my story interesting. <3 

random fact: i had constipation since last week ),:

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

chuck bass

love is not everything. we have friends and family still, but, do i? 

Gossip girls

Chuck and blair. 

Chuck: You were right. I was a coward running away again, but everywhere I went, you caught up with me. So I had to come back.

Blair: I want to believe you, but I can't. You hurt me too many times.

Chuck: You can believe me this time.

Blair: Oh. That's it?
Chuck: I love you too.
Blair: But can you say it twice? No i'm serious, say it twice! 
Chuck: I love you, I love you, that's three, four, I love you.

 chuck: Hey, do you mind if I stay?

Blair: Yes. But that's why I love you

 Blair: Are you upset because you kissed a guy?

Chuck: I'm upset because it's somebody that wasn't you. You really think I've never kissed a guy before?

Blair: Love me?

Chuck: Always.

 Chuck: This isn't you.

Blair: How do you know?

Chuck: Because I know you better than I know myself.

Chuck: Say those three words you wanted me to say.
Blair: Are you kidding?
Chuck: Not quite. Eight letters. Three syllables. Say them and I'm yours.
Blair: I'm already yours, you're ruining the mood with all this talk.
Chuck: You can't say it. You wanted it from me.
Blair: I'm prepared to settle.
Chuck: Maybe I'm not.
Blair: Chuck Bass, I...will never say those words to you.
Chuck: Then you will never have me.

Blair: Last fall you said we couldn't be together, and I believed you. But everytime I try to move on, you're right there, acting like-

Chuck: Acting like what?

Blair: Like...maybe you want me to be as unhappy as you are.

Chuck: I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy.
Blair: Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out...all of us. But if it's not, then please Chuck, just let me go.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you.
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her and I can't make her happy

xoxo, you know you love me. 

random fact : my room is clean now. 

Monday, June 13, 2011

i thought.

-autumn concerto 

in the dark, there you'll see sunlight
somewhere you feel you dont belong, there you'll feel warmth.
when you see no hope, there you'll see greens climbing up towards light.

dont lose focus, you've slacked the whole day. wake up tomorrow , open a new page and start again. dont lose hope. (:

i'm really glad i have you pushing me at times like this. pushing me forward. not letting me fall over and over again. i know i piss you off at times fore giving up and break down. you kept pulling me up. maybe the only thing i can do now is to remove the misery. maybe i'll forget the feelings i  had for him. but him, i wont forget. thats the only thing i will keep for myself. (:

last post about him. no more. 


harmony recovering status : 45 %

random fact : i collect paper bags and plastic bags ( no money for real bag )

Saturday, June 11, 2011

self motivation

i used to think, i had the answers to everything,
but now i know, that life doesnt always go my way,
feels like im caught in the middle,
thats when i realize,
im not a girl, 
not yet a women
- britney spears.

 smile like you mean it. 

when everything starts to go against you, you might feel like, whats the point of living, whats the point of putting so much effort in doing something, whats the point of proving others wrong. might as well i lock myself in the corner of my comfort zone. at least there is where i feel belonged.
have you ever felt this way?

life is such. it doesn't always goes as plan. like some said, life doesnt come with a manual guiding you what to do next, you've got to figure it out yourself. its like figuring out an equation you have never done before, trying to get your way out of there, you try so hard to figure it out and no ones there, sometimes , people break down. 

well, i've seen many people with failed relationship, disfunctional family, failed friendship and so on. the person that stay, are the one who get hurt the most, while others move on. some can cope it very well, some just dont. for those who cant move on, is it because they dont want, or they cant? is it in their mind, or is it their stubbornness. no doubt , moving on may take time, no doubt it hurts at time, but why dont you let go all the sorrows and find some light again? it's equivalent to self torture if you cocoon yourself up in your history, your past. 

these things are easy said than done. but if you look on the bright side of every problem, im sure there'll be a way. that corner you live, get out from there, get back to reality, why? cos you're just running away from everything. just a fucking coward. 

maybe, this is the one phase in life that many will go through, for those who didn't, appreciate it, for those who did,  i hope this phase made you a stronger an matured person. 

p/s: im sorry if you cant understand what im trying to say here. blame my bad english ):

random fact: i like chinese songs.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

harmony behind the scenes.

assignments, relationships, family.

be lucky that some of you have someone to talk to. someone who is there for you mentally and physically. anytime you need a hug when you feel hopeless , you need a kiss on the forehead telling you everything will be alright, when you need someone to make you smile for no reason.  someone who knows everything about you. someone who listens and make you feel better even though you know its not. someone who wont leave you alone and cry hopelessly. someone who will bring you out from this world for just a little while.
i had mine. but now, no longer, i have to stand alone. 

some of you may wonder, why  is harmony always so moody, so sad , so angry at everything and anything. cos you guys have no idea at all whats happening. i too dont wish to be in this devastating stage. at the edge of everything. but you wont understand. in your mindset, im still the desperate , good for nothing , as if i've lost someone and the whole world ends kinda girl. you may think what you want. i cant stop you.

you know the feeling when you try to do your best, and you still get stepped on their feet. the feeling when you cant do it properly because of all sorts of reasons, and everyone come stepping on you, saying that you are a useless, good for nothing kinda girl. have you ever felt this way?!

people gossiping behind you, saying, harmony has changed, she doesnt do her assignments, she only try to attract guys, she only go clubs,  what you all want me to do?!!! seriously! talking behind my back is one thing, letting me know what you all have said... seriously?

i wasnt like this, i dont want to be like this. i hate myself for being in this state today. you think i want?

harmony, sometimes, people can say what ever they want. is it true, is it not. up to them, if they feel happy talking about you, let them be, not like they can live another few years longer.

harmony, just do what you have got to do. fall down, cry, get up, walk again.

assignments, relationship, family, kills the person inside. 


random fact: im happy, its a lie.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

talking to the moon.

cause: assignments / thinking/ brain storming/ more thinking/ more brain storming.
effect : crazy-fied.

la point, bye bye!

now now, everyone is shuffling everyday, and i dont know why. the song 'party rock anthem' is Ze hits now. everywhere you go, on facebook, on blogspots, and twitter zomg, everyone is posting things like,  i am shuffling/ everyday im shuffling,  i have nothing on them people la. just.. stating the obvious.. yea.. :P

okay, thats it for today. 

du du du du du DUUU duu. party rock is in the house tonight,
everybody just have a good time.

random fact : i wash my clothes once a week.